i barfeds in our rink
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
