My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Randomize
