so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
Randomize
