Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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