I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Randomize
