if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize