So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
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