She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Randomize
