can we get nightvision for the apartment?
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
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