Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Randomize
