You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
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