that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
