You made me cry and you don't even care
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
