Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Randomize
