i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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