Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize