smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
Randomize
