Pants 0. Shit 1.
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
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