remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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