My room smells like vodka and shame
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Randomize
