I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
