Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
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