he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
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