google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
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