We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Randomize
