ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Randomize
