I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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