I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Randomize
