I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize