Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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