Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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