Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
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