My hand turned me down
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
Randomize
