in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
