so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
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