mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
