Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
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