No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Randomize
