a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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