you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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