Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize