my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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