ADVERTISEMENT

• (202): View more from Washington, DC

  remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.

  Fav 3 2445 830

  share tweet
  

• (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.

  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  wtf?

  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.

  Fav 22 1177 3839

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (561): View more from Florida

  My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..

  Fav 43 971 6548

  share tweet
  

• (602): View more from Arizona

  So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.

  Fav 46 4064 1790

  share tweet
  

• (520): View more from Arizona

  just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF

  Fav 19 1090 4171

  share tweet
  

• (269): View more from Michigan

  I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.

  (616): View more from Michigan

  Who said I want to share with you?

  (269): View more from Michigan

  You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.

  Fav 40 7152 1404

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (305): View more from Florida

  you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out

  Fav 20 6192 1461

  share tweet
  

• (207): View more from Maine

  There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.

  Fav 12 3344 1777

  share tweet
  

• (812): View more from Indiana

  I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.

  Fav 2 1130 769

  share tweet
  

• (865): View more from Tennessee

  No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.

  Fav 3 1360 657

  share tweet
  

• (402): View more from Nebraska

  I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.

  Fav 1 766 491

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (+63): View more from

  I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that

  Fav 1 843 456

  share tweet
  

• (512): View more from Texas

  Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.

  Fav 1 64 14

  share tweet
  

• (479): View more from Arkansas

  Where you been?

  (1-479): View more from Arkansas

  Please tell me this is a booty call

  Fav 0 36 9

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (941): View more from Florida

  im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester

  Fav 0 27 4

  share tweet
  

Randomize