Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
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