You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
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