Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Randomize