sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
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