You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
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