if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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