This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
Randomize
