have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize