i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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