Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize