I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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