no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
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