You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
