The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
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