the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Randomize
