...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
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