theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
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