The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
We just shotgunned beers for America
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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