Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
its liver damage thursday
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Randomize
