She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Randomize
