I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
Randomize
