white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
Randomize
