just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
Randomize
