How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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