I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
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