I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
