Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
