it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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